The Subjunctive Mood and Politeness

By: Sean Savoie

As an immigrant to the United States from Asia, you have probably encountered a situation when you try to help a person and that person becomes angry at you. This is both a cultural and linguistic difference, and it is the core of the subjunctive mood and its practical usefulness. The command form, such as, "Open the door" or even, "Please, open the door" is much different than saying, "Do you think we should open the door?"

Remember that the subjunctive mood expresses doubt. This means that the speaker is unsure of his or her comments. And in this way, the expression becomes more polite, meaning that the speaker is giving more respect to the listener and not pushing an opinion on this listener. In some societies, this approach to expression may seem weak and ineffective. But it is important to remember that the thinking in the United States involves a strong concept of both individuality and freedom.

Here is a clear example. When I first decided to open a school in Flushing, every Chinese-speaking person whom I told I was planning to open a school said, "You need to teach pin yin. You must prepare students for the TOEFL tests. You must teach vocabulary and grammar. You need to have writing classes for children, etc...." But in an American style, this is very insulting; it indirectly says that I am a fool and do not understand my own job. Telling a person in New York how to do his or her job is extremely insulting and rude. I was very gentle and understanding with these people who were trying to give me advice, but this was because I understood Chinese thinking and ways of communicating. Most Americans do not understand this difference, and so, when living in America, Chinese-speaking people should learn how Americans express their ideas.

There are many ways to give advice and remain polite in an American-style. This way of speaking is especially important in business relationships. As mentioned before in the New York Community Times, the use of modals, such as, could, would, should, may, might, had better, ought to, etc. are very useful; however, one good technique may simply be to ask a question instead of directly offering advice. Notice the difference between the styles of giving advice in the sentences below:

Slightly pushy and rude style: "You need to teach people how to speak with better grammar."

A question expressing the same meaning: "Do you think teaching people how to speak better grammar is a good idea?"

Another question expressing this meaning: "Might teaching people how to speak better grammar help them?"

A direct statement using the subjunctive mood: "Teaching people how to speak better grammar might help them."

Notice how both forming the opinion in a question form and using modals in the subjunctive mood create a softer and slightly more doubtful expression. This is the key to expressing a meaning in a way that causes Americans to want to assist you more. Because Americans value independence and freedom, telling an American what to do, or especially how to do their own job is extremely negative in this country. For this reason, using the subjunctive mood and expressing doubt makes Americans feel that you are actually trying to help them, as opposed to trying to tell them what to do. Keep in mind that most Americans are not language teachers; they do not realize that you are simply trying to help them. This is where the misunderstanding takes place, but it is easily avoided by using the correct grammar and sentence structures. I realize that this requires practice and experience, but, of course, it is necessary to understand the idea.

Keep in mind that Americans, and more specifically New Yorkers, do not like to be commanded, even when they serve in a lower position in a workplace. Generally speaking, more politeness, even with your own employees, creates a greater sense of cooperation and common interest in a project. Therefore, it is better to be very reasonable with employees and explain to them how their work can contribute to the company. Take a look at the differences between the sentences below.

Direct style: "Finish the report by five o'clock and have it on my desk before 5:15."

Subjunctive mood: "Do you think you could finish the report and have it on my desk before 5:15? If you could, it would really help me so much.

Now, of course, as a supervisor or manager or boss, there is no real need to use the subjunctive mood; however, giving a worker the choice and freedom to help you when you are a manager is so much more effective than giving orders. This style of speaking creates a strong feeling in a worker that he or she is helping the manager or boss. As a result, this employee feels like he or she is part of a family.

New Yorkers tend to be very direct, yet smart managers understand how to use the right form of speech to create a sense of cooperation among workers. This technique is also effective in getting other people to very willingly help you when you have a difficult situation. Next week in the New York Community Times we will take a further look at how this type of subjunctive expression can be truly efficient by creating a positive feeling in people who are in a position to help you or your company or your family. Until then, have a great week!