The Subjunctive Mood

By: Sean Savoie

 

While living in Japan, I came to fully realize that being polite and being friendly are two completely different things. At that time I was shocked to discover how polite yet cold people could remain day in and day out. I found that my jaw hurt at the end of the day from smiling politely for long periods of time, and many Japanese people in a very kind manner informed me that I must practice smiling by holding chopsticks with my teeth. The very concept of practicing smiling is enough to put a huge smile on my face, yet this smile is genuine (the way I like my smiles served and received).

 

Cultural behavior like this is also firmly rooted in linguistics. Both Japanese and English have different levels of politeness built directly into the use of verbs in language, Japanese having such polite forms expressed even at the level of verb conjugation, with the more polite sentences becoming longer and longer. English sentences can also become longer when they are more polite.

 

This is in contrast to Mandarin Chinese. Chinese speakers will offer a reason to support a suggestion (such as: Please open the window. It is a bit hot, isn't it?), but this is quite different from the subjunctive "sweetened" mood used in English. The subjunctive mood is used to create "doubt" about the statement. This gives the other person a chance to disagree without losing face. It is a bit like a backdoor exit for somebody who wishes to express another opinion without creating an argument; a strong opinion can be expressed in a soft way.

 

Politeness in English should be viewed in terms of its effectiveness, not its friendliness. The most effective way to master the subjunctive mood in English is to practice the use of modal auxiliaries, often simply called modals, which are the added components to verbs, such as: can, could, will, would, shall, should, may, might, ought to, had better, have to, etc... Yet using these words is not quite enough. There is no clear boundary between a stronger and softer statement; therefore, the subjunctive mood is created instead of a grammatical tool. Notice how the sentences below move from strong and firm to soft and doubtful:

 

1)      Do your assignment now!

2)      You better do your assignment right now!

3)      Do your assignment.

4)      You really need to do your assignment.

5)      You should do your assignment right now.

6)      You should do your assignment.

7)      Maybe you should do your assignment.

8)      Please do your assignment.

9)      Would you please do your assignment?

10)  Don’t you think you should do your assignment?

11)  Wouldn’t it be a good idea to do your assignment?

12)  I highly suggest that you do your assignment.

13)  I might suggest that you do your assignment.

14)  Please consider doing your assignment.

15)  I might suggest that you consider doing your assignment.

16)  If I were you, I would do my assignment.

17)  If I were you, I would possibly do my assignment.

18)  If I were you, I might consider doing my assignment.

19)  If I were you, I might think a little about doing my assignment.

 

 

Now, be careful. If a statement is too sweet and gentle, it may sound like sarcasm, which is a much stronger form of expression. That is a bit like a mother sweetly calling her son; that son knows he is in big trouble when he hears the sweet voice. But the ability to shift from one style to another is essential; in an ordinary discussion, a native English speaker will move from a position of strength when believing he or she is in control of the situation to a more polite form of speech when feeling less empowered. But even in a powerful position, an effective boss can command employees more efficiently by using a softer language.

 

The key to this technique is in knowing when you have power and when you do not. As a person loses power in an argument, for example, that person had better show more respect in accordance with the recognition of power of the other person. Herein lies a contradiction, as well as evidence of a crucial difference between Americans and Asians. In an American situation, to the degree that a person shows an understanding about a certain topic, another person will become polite when asking or commenting on the topic of discussion; whereas, in Asia, as observed by me (and I may be wrong), people become more polite to people who have attained a higher status through their job position, education, or accumulation of money. Please do not misunderstand me. This is neither right nor wrong, but it is simply the difference I see in how people behave.

 

When in doubt, you should be a little bit more polite. As you feel a greater sense of power in the situation, it is perfectly fine to become more commanding; however, keep in mind that Americans, and more specifically New Yorkers, do not like to be commanded even when they serve in a lower position in a workplace. Generally speaking, more politeness, even with your own employees, creates a greater sense of cooperation and common interest in a project. You need to be the judge, and, when speaking, this may be a very quick decision. Also, as is true in Asia, when a person becomes closer to you as a friend, this person will speak more directly. So, you must also consider that a person speaking very directly to you may be showing a sense of closeness or friendship. This is also very true in NY, especially in the service business. I realize this is confusing, but keep these ideas in mind and listen carefully to the people speaking around you. And, of course, keep practicing!