Examples of Cadence in
Sentences
By: Sean
Savoie
We should now practice feeling the rhythmic differences between complex, compound, and simple sentences. Native and long-time speakers of English will be better prepared to appreciate the rhythmic effect of the examples below, but all readers of this article should make note of the various lengths of phrases and clauses. In my writing class, I often drill students by having them create absurdly long sentences, which is fun (for some) and funny for most students. Many teachers suggest that young writers use as few commas as possible. I, personally, do not consider this a rule, but a writer should be able to construct grammatically-correct marathon sentences if for no other reason than to piece together huge noun clauses. A natural tendency is to use short simple sentences for anticipation, fear, anxiety, or urgency. Writing that is short and choppy actual sounds like the speaker is out of breath, as if he or she has just run to tell you something.
Example: He came so fast. I didn’t see him. He looked tired. I stopped. It was cold. We went into a coffee shop.
You almost have to tell the speaker
to calm down. If this is the intended mood the writer seeks to create, it is
effective. In the examples below, experience the rhythm with your ears, not your
eyes. Chinese speakers tend to learn primarily from their eyes, whereas speakers
of phonetic languages often read subliminally, meaning that they have a voice in
their heads when they read. Hearing how a sentence moves is necessary to fully
experience its rhythm. Examine (yes, with your ear or tongue) the examples
below:
Example 1: Experimenting with various models and having little success, Dr. James attempted a more risky and ultimately fruitful approach to solving the problem.
Dr. James, experimenting with various models, had little success; he therefore attempted a more risky and ultimately fruitful approach to solving the problem.
Dr. James experimented with various models but had little success. To solve the problem, he attempted a more risky approach, which was ultimately more fruitful.
Dr. James experimented with various
models. He had little success. He attempted a more risky approach. This was
ultimately more fruitful.
Some standardized tests, such as the
GRE, have questions that require the test-taker to choose the best sentence. I
firmly disagree with such a style of question. Remember that writing is similar
to any other art form in that it requires one to consider both function and
form. When an expression is out of the context of the whole paragraph,
therefore, choosing the best sentence even in dry academic writing requires an
understanding as to what effect the writer wishes to have on the reader. In
example 1, above, the fourth way of expressing the idea consists of four
sentences that are short. If all the sentences in the larger paragraph are
written in this way, the writing will not move well. However, the writer may be
intending to excite the reader by creating a crucial moment in the development
of Dr. James’ experiments, in which case the short style may be perfect. The
purpose of controlling sentence rhythm is to have a specific influence on the
reader. Such a quality can not be measured on a test such as the GRE. Some
sentences are clearly a bit awkward, and I write the word “awkward” in the
margins of many essays that students submit. At best, the GRE should ask which
sentence is most indicative of a college textbook style. Look at example 2,
below, and notice how the various rhythms affect the force of conviction of the
expression.
Example 2: Having long been challenged, debated, and amended, the U.S. Constitution, though still open to interpretation, remains the clearest depiction of the core values of our country.
The U.S. Constitution has long been challenged and debated. It has been amended and is still open to interpretation. The Constitution remains the clearest depiction of the core values of our country.
The U.S. Constitution has long been
challenged. It has long been debated. It has been amended, and it is still open
to interpretation. The Constitution remains the clearest depiction of the core
values of our country.
Of the variations in example 2, the
first is smoothest. But smooth is not necessarily effective. Read the above
examples again and imagine the voice of the speaker becoming louder and more
forceful as may be heard in a political campaign. If the speaker is hoping to
arouse the audience, the shorter sentences will probably work better. Could it
be that John Kerry, using super-long sentences because he actually did go to his
Ivy League classes, failed to excite the American people simply because his
rhythm of speaking did not inspire? This is actually quite possible. OK, now I
cannot restrain myself; speaking of politics, notice how the rhythm of
expression below can increasingly express the raw emotion that many of us
citizens and soon-to-be citizens, not to mention people all around the world,
feel about the state of
Example 3: Taking control of both the House and Senate, the
Democrats have an opportunity to make changes that show other countries that
The Democrats have taken control of the House. They have taken control of the
Senate. We have an opportunity to make changes that show other countries. We
show them that we do not approve.