More Tips for Writing the SAT Essay (part 2)

By: Sean Savoie 

All through my years of formal education, I would try to guess the type of test or essay question the teacher would come up with. Students would often discuss what type of test the teacher would give by analyzing his or her personality. And now, after 15 years of making tests, I find it interesting to attempt to get into the mind of the College Board. It seems clear that the way a student might score highly developing the essay on the new SAT is quite flexible. 

In the last issue of the NYCT was published an essay that scored a perfect score of 6, according to the College Board (www.collegeboard.com). I read and reread the essay and failed to see how it could get a perfect 6. The author of that essay obviously understood the issue, took a position (expressed a strong opinion), and gave a clear example from her life, yet the usage of various phrases and clauses was limited. More surprisingly, the target audience of the writer seemed to be younger than the writer herself. In other words, she seemed merely to be writing in order to show that she understood the idea and could evidence it. 

I much prefer the second essay example that received a score of 6. Notice how the essay, below, sandwiches the opinion with an extended example, which happens to be a memoir read by the author, and then draws conclusions from the comparison. The author uses the less formal 2nd person "you" when expressing opinions, which is not widely accepted in formal university papers. But other than this, the following essay is very well crafted, using interesting sentence construction and summarizing the point of view in a clear, simple manner, giving the essay a feeling of completion. 

Before reading the essay, read the excerpt, presented by the College Board on its website: 

College Board Example:

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

Many persons believe that to move up the ladder of success and achievement, they must forget the past, repress it, and relinquish it. But others have just the opposite view. They see old memories as a chance to reckon with the past and integrate past and present.

—Adapted from Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, I've Known Rivers: Lives of Loss and Liberation 

Essay

Memories act as both a help and a hinderance to the success of someone. Many people advise you to learn from the past and apply those memories so that you can effectively succeed by avoiding repeating your past mistakes. On the other hand, people who get too caught up with the past are unable to move on to the future.

Elie Wiesel's memoir Night perfectly exemplifies the double nature of memories. Wiesel, a Jewish man, suffered heavily throughout the Holocaust and Night is rife with horrific descriptions of his experience. These memories help to spread the view of what life was like. Through recounting these memories, Wiesel is able to educate world readers about the atrocities committed in hopes that the same blatant violations of human rights are never repeated again. Through reliving the Holocaust through his writing, Wiesel was inspired to become proactive in the battle for civil rights. Some would point to his peaceful actions and the sales of his book and label him a success.

Despite the importance of recounting such memories, Wiesel acknowledges the damage that memories can also cause. Following his liberation from the Auschwitz concentration camp, Wiesel was a bitter, jaded man. He could not even write Night until several years later. The end of the novel describes Wiesel's gradual but absolute loss of faith throughout the experience. His past experiences haunted him for several years, rendering him passive. It was not until he set aside his past that he could even focus on the future. Had he remained so consumed with the pain and damage caused in the past, he may never have achieved the success that he has attained.

Overall, Wiesel's experiences exemplify the importance of the past as a guide. Wiesel's past experiences helped to guide him in later life, but it was not until he pushed them aside that he could move on. To me this means that you should rely on your past without letting it control you. Allow your past to act as a guide, while making sure that you are also living in the present and looking to the future.

End

The reason why this essay is significantly better than the one published last week in the NYCT is because this author not only clearly understands the issue but furthers the idea, creating another way of looking at it. On its website, the College Board rationalizes the high score of six with the statement below:

Why this Essay Received a Score of 6

This essay exhibits outstanding critical thinking by effectively and insightfully developing its point of view ("you should rely on your past without letting it control you") through the clearly appropriate example of Elie Wiesel's Holocaust memoir, Night. The essay demonstrates clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas, carefully contrasting Wiesel's success in using his memories to gain attention for his cause with the difficulty Wiesel faced in dealing with those same powerful memories. The essay uses language skillfully to convey Wiesel's struggle ("Despite the importance of recounting such memories, Wiesel acknowledges the damage that memories can also cause. Following his liberation from the Auschwitz concentration camp, Wiesel was a bitter, jaded man. He could not even write Night until several years later"). The essay demonstrates clear and consistent mastery and receives a 6.