Styles of Description (Part One)

By: Sean Savoie 

Although description is itself a mode of development and may be the sole purpose of an essay, description of some type is found in nearly every form of writing. Various points of view, as discussed in the previous issue of the New York Community Times, almost always require different types of description. Similarly, the style of describing people, situations, places, things, emotions, and everyday experiences, helps to form, or at least clarify, the point of view and tone of an essay or story.

As a writer, mastering the relationship between description, point of view, and tone is a complex task that even the greatest writers struggle with and often work diligently to revise until the intended effect is perfected. But this is not to say that description needs to be complex. In fact, many successful authors use simple description to create a clear and accessible tone for the reader.

Description, though fundamental to our everyday lives when we talk to people about an experience, discuss a person that we know, or even describe the place where we live, is extremely subjective, meaning that most people will describe the same thing in radically different ways. This is exactly why, when things are described in writing, persona is developed. A reader comes to understand the writer by the way in which that writer describes things; however, when a writer uses a different point of view, the description may be coming from a different character, as happens when writing in the 3rd person. If a writer describes things in the same way through the eyes of every character in a story, the writing seems flat. People are different and certainly describe the same thing in different ways. A talented author is very aware of this technique and uses it to his or her advantage.

In the next few articles, I will illustrate many literary techniques used to create effective description, such as: simile, listing, metaphor, analogy, allusion, personification, etc.... but I feel that publishing essay examples by students will be more effective in helping other writing students understand the relationship between description and point of view.

Lucy Qian, one of my eighth-grade writing students, has developed her writing skills to the point where she can write extremely long and beautiful sentences that contain complex clauses and phrases in many variations. In the example essay below, however, she chooses to write in a simple way because she is describing something through the eyes of a child. Knowing that she can write in a much more complex way, I was struck by her ability to change her style to be in harmony with the point of view of a young child. The assignment was to describe something unusual or to describe something that somebody might not notice. Take note of how she lists adjectives in a simple way and uses a wide variety of action verbs to help capture the feeling of the experience. 

Example essay: 

A Strange Thing     By: Lucy Qian 

            It was a tall, long, loopy thing, with a dragon zooming on it. I found it to be the biggest thing that I had ever seen. Its height was about that of 20 trees, and its length was about that of 40. It created loud noises and sometimes screams, which seemed to come out of nowhere. This dragon is what others called The Roller Coaster.

            Every minute or so, a dragon would shoot out of the tunnel accompanied by screams. The dragon flew terrifyingly fast, at a speed greater than the cheetah. Every dragon followed the same path; climbing, diving, and looping. Every dragon did the same tricks; they flipped and swirled and dived and made circles, constantly turning an accelerating.

            Hundreds of people formed a seemingly endless line that led to the dragon. I thought they were crazy. I did not want to go on that dragon even if the shining long bars beneath it were painted green and well-polished.

            My dad urged me to go on the dragon, and I refused. Who would want to be devoured by a beast? My dad did not give in; he pulled me towards the express line and dragged me all the way to the dragon.

            I soon found out that the dragon was not real; it was just merely human made. It was quite a handsome piece of work, with its realistic wings, and the realistic features. Its neck was made of green semi-ovals, layered one above another. Its tail was long and curved, and its round, blue eyes sparkled as it stared off into the distance. Two great, long, curved fangs slipped through the tiny holes of its mouth, and two glass-like horns shown in the light.

            Before I knew it, the dragon was off. It was the fastest thing I have ever experienced. If my eyes were not opened, I would not have realized that I was turned upside down. My stomach and heart lifted as if a humongous organism-magnet was right above me.

            It turned out that the dragon was not as scary as it had seemed, and the view 20 trees above the ground was quite nice. I no longer fear the dragon, which I now call Roller Coaster.