Two Paragraph As a Third Person to First Person Shift (Part Two)

By: Sean Savoie 

Continuing with our practice of writing two paragraph position essays, we should again address a news issue. A strong opinion could certainly be expressed about George W. Bush having authorized the NSA to secretly eavesdrop on Americans within the United States by listening to and recording phone conversations, Email, text messages, faxes, and other electronic transmissions. It is also possible for the government to monitor which books one takes out of the library and which websites one goes to. The issue is more complex since it involves a rapidly growing technology as well as the war on terrorism. People have vastly differing views largely influenced by their experience, country of origin, education level, age, depth of knowledge about the U.S. Constitution, political philosophy, and degree of fear regarding terrorism.

Step one: choose a side. I will argue for U.S. citizens’ right to privacy.

Step two: brainstorm key words and ideas.  OK…… executive branch, power, limitations, Constitution, terrorism, fear, democracy, privacy, balance, precedent, legal procedure, search and seizure, warrants, computer, probable cause, control….

Step three: focus on the scope of the essay by considering supportive facts.

Step four: jump straight into the essay with the thesis near the very beginning. 

Keep in mind that my opinion in this example essay is not important for this practice. What is essential is better understanding how to develop an idea on paper in a clear way. Using 1^st person in the second paragraph allows a writer the freedom to affect the emotions of the reader, known a persuasion. Try to limit the appeal to a reader’s heart and focus more on logical reasoning, which is a much more academic style. 

Example essay: 

The president’s decision to secretly wiretap the citizens of the United States is not only frightening but illegal. The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution states “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” As CEO of the United States, George W. Bush took an oath to uphold and enforce the law of the land, not break it. He is not a king, and the USA is not a monarchy. The president is a public servant. In this digital age, the potential for abuse of power is immense. With the freedom to spy on any person or organization using the highest level technology, the NSA could wiretap every member of Congress as well as all people seeking to restore a balance of power in this country, essentially gaining totalitarian control. This is precisely what the Founding Fathers of this country were hoping to prevent by creating a system of checks and balances. The executive branch, already too powerful, has clearly crossed the line. Freedom of speech is compromised when one is being secretly recorded.

When I was a child, I realized that my parents were the legislative, judicial, and executive branch all in one, yet I knew that my parents loved me, making rules and administering punishment in a way that would help me. One day, however, I discovered that my mother had been listening in on my phone conversations using the other phone in the house. I was furious and felt completely violated, not because she had secretly heard my opinions, many of which were probably critical, but because I felt the need for privacy and the ability to exercise my freedom of expression. As an adult, I have more recently encountered this restriction of freedom when, together with my friends, I express something critical of the government and a friend calls me “unpatriotic”. I could certainly express my anger and defend my right to an opinion with this friend, but in the end I limited what I would say in any conversation with him. This type of blind nationalism is exactly what allowed Hitler to lead the Germans to kill six million Jews and start the biggest war the world has ever seen. The right to privacy and freedom of speech are truly connected. Bush is not your daddy. If the president, a member of a super-rich oil business family that is friends with the family of Osama bin Laden, is ignoring the Constitution, and the citizens of the U.S. do not limit his power, the free country we love will no longer be free. 

Notice how the essay uses 1^st person specifically to strengthen the main idea expressed in the first paragraph. It is usually not effective to write in the first person simply to say I think, I feel, I believe, In my opinion, etc… Rather, let the personal example stand on its own to support the main idea. If you need to explain your example too much, it may not be an effective example.